But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
