i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
