so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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