can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
