So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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