Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I believe in your delicious
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
