the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
