K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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