You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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