Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
