I wanna bring you to show and tell
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
