Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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