WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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