My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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