every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my shit smells like andre
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
