We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
