3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
