Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
