So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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