The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
