wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize