Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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