Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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