We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize