whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
