Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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