Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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