shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
