Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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