i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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