Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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