You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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