They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
