One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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