My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
