Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
