the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
