I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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