Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
