Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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