well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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