I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
