I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
