My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
