and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
