Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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