just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
