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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman

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• (386): View more from Florida

  She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow

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