We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
