Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
