The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
