Yo dont text me then not text me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't notice because vodka
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
