we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Shame - the story of my life.
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