Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
