ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
