I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
