no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hippo gnu deer
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
