he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
