Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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