in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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