party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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