I smell stomach acid.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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