The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
