Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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