guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
